CNN Night AARON BROWN
Tora Bora Battle Intensifies; Eight Palestinians Killed During
Israeli Airstrikes
Aired December 14, 2001 - 22:00 ET
AARON BROWN, CNN ANCHOR: Good evening again, everyone. I don't
know about you, but it has been a long, tough week around here
-- often, pretty grim. Three American soldiers killed in the war
came home. The first American to die in combat, a CIA agent was
buried at Arlington.
(…)
There was new violence in the Middle East. Starting the peace
process any time soon was called mission impossible by the U.S.
envoy.
And then, of course, there was the bin Laden tape. And that's
a lot of misery to pack into one week.
Now, Friday programs, we've long believed, need to be a little
different. Viewers are in a different frame of mind. So tonight,
because the news gods finally gave us a bit of a break and because
it's Friday, it won't be all war all the time, and we hope that
does suit your frame of mind tonight. Having said that, we also
need to say this isn't exactly a war-free zone either tonight.
(…)
And the debate over "TIME" magazine's "person of
the year." This year, obviously, there's a bad guy in the
running. Bad guys have always been controversial choices, so we'll
talk about that.
Plus, something funny that one of our Canadian viewers tipped
us off to. We'll end it all tonight, and we can just say this,
on the punchline there.
That's all coming up. We'll start the way we always do, a whip
around the world and our correspondents covering it. Ben Wedeman
starts tonight in Tora Bora, Afghanistan. Ben, the headline, please.
(...)
(AT END OF SHOW…)
And when we come back, no more delay: a spoof of this program.
We're kidding. We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BROWN: Finally from us tonight, the spoof. Last Sunday, Vice
President Dick Cheney was on "Meet the Press" and Tim
Russert showed him a tape clip of the vice president being impersonated
on "Saturday Night Live". And the vice president said
simply, "I've arrived."
Well, darn it, so have I -- at least in Canada. On Canada's
version of "Saturday Night Live", called the "Royal
Canadian Air Farce," a couple of weeks ago there was a spoof
on war coverage and the most annoying part of it -- or as we think
of it, the longest three seconds in television.
(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)
ACTORS IMPERSONATING AARON BROWN AND CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR
ANNOUNCER: This is CNN. Luke, give in to the dark side.
AARON BROWN (IMPERSONATOR): It's day 41 of Operation Bomb the
Living Daylights Out of Afghanistan. Joining me to discuss the
situation is our Chief International Correspondent, Christiane
Amanpour, in Jalalabad.
Christiane, I know it's very early there. Thanks for taking the
time to talk to us.
(LONG PAUSE)
CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR (IMPERSONATOR): My pleasure.
BROWN: Christiane, given the deployment of ground troops in Afghanistan
in addition to the bombing missions and use of special forces,
can we expect a swift fall of the al Qaeda network?
(ANOTHER LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: Pardon?
BROWN: Christiane, given the deployment of ground troops and
bombing missions and use of special forces, can we expect a swift
fall of the al Qaeda network?
(ANOTHER LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: Could you repeat the question?
BROWN: Christiane, given the deployment of ground troops in Afghanistan
in addition to bombing missions and use of special forces, can
we expect a swift fall of the al Qaeda network?
(ANOTHER LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: No.
BROWN: How successful has the U.S. military been with its mission
thus far?
(LONG PAUSE)
BROWN: What is the...
AMANPOUR: The military? The military has caused much destruction,
devastation, despondency, desolation, and I'm out of alliteration.
Aaron.
BROWN: So I guess you could say it's bad in Jalalabad?
(ANOTHER LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: Excuse me?
BROWN: It's bad in Jalalabad. Get it?
(ANOTHER LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: Bad in Jalalabad? I don't get it.
BROWN: Christiane, would you say the political situation in Afghanistan
is volatile?
(LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: Aaron, the political situation in Afghanistan is volatile.
BROWN: Christiane, thanks for this report.
(LONG PAUSE)
AMANPOUR: You're welcome. Jerk.
(END VIDEO TAPE)
BROWN: OK. That that was courtesy of the CBC. She got all
the jokes, I noticed. That's our report. Have a terrific weekend.
We'll see you again, we hope, on Monday night. From all of us
at NEWSNIGHT, I'm Aaron Brown in New York. Good night.
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