Season 8 Episode Guide

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Episode 8-17 - Friday, February 23, 2001

Canadian Moment Click here to hear a sample...
Air Farce's donut dunkers chew on high Alberta heating costs, B.C. earthquake, Britian's hoof and mouth disease, NDP meeting, Ontario Metis ruling, Bill Clinton's political pardon woes, Celine Dion website, Elvis Stojko, asteroid crashes to earth and Mir space station.
Beavertone News: Wallpaper
A wallpaper store has a sale on Nortel stock.
Bouchard & Landry
Lucien Bouchard hands over his separatist keys to Bernard Landry.
Greenspan Address
Alan Greenspan explains the ups and downs of the economy.
Mike's Antique Roadshow
Mike from Canmore is a smash on the Antiques Roadshow.
Nancy Wilson: Napster
Morning napper Nancy Wilson talks Napster with Keith Richards.
Girder Guy
A girder worker has riveting comments on John Cleghorn's retirement, horsemeat replaces beef in Europe, new politically correct words and Bernard Landry.
Off The Record
Sports talker Michael Landsberg deals with a punch drunk fighter and a food drunk actress.

Episode 8-16 - Friday, February 23, 2001

Linda Sims & John Roth Click here to hear a sample...
Nortel changes its name to No Tell because there's no telling what will happen next.
Saddam Speaks Out
Saddam Hussein's television broadcast is more than just a ratings killer.
Welsh Restaurant & Inspector
A health inspector checks out a restaurant with food fit for a stomach pump.
Cab Driver
Dave the cabbie expresses his opinion on winter driving, Brett Lindro's snowmobile accident, U of T cheating scandal, Russian FBI spy, Jean Chretien's China trade mission, Sue Johanson gets Order of Canada, XFL, reality TV, hand-free cell phones, student sells soul over the internet, B.C. premier Ujjal Dosanjh, and Victoria Secrets.
Rich Couple Loses All
Bad investments turn a rich couple's cruise on the Love Boat into a trip to the Poor House.
Investors Group Commercial
Investment advice for the economically challenged.
Bush Address
George W. Bush's presidential update.
Yin-Yang News
Yin-Yang News, your X and Y chromosome newscast comments on woman who expend 150 calories during lovemaking, Canadian- Brazilian trade war, searching for a mate over the Internet, male birth control, men who turn to plastic surgery, and a financial tip for couples.

Episode 8-15 - Friday, February 16, 2001

CTV Chrétien's China Trip
Lloyd Robertson, Canada's most articulate news anchor, interviews Jean Chrétien, Canada's most inarticulate prime minister.
Ariel Sharon, Lois & Bram
New Israeli leader Ariel Sharon entertains kids on a new CD, Ariel Sharon, Lois and Bram.
CTV Sportsnet
Two sportscasters make the average jock look like a genius.
News From Away Click here to hear a sample...
Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole report on Canadian Pacific being split into five companies, Mike Harris takes girlfriend on Chinese trade mission, potato wart, closing down of Napster, Canadian/Brazilian trade war, Mazda SUV runs over Zoom Zoom kid, office party drunk awarded $300,000, mapping of Genome, Elton John teams up with Eminem, Tom Cruise's divorce, Facts of Life Survivor, and Star Wars defense system.
B.C. Hikers
A forest ranger shows a hiker how not to become cougar trail mix.
Critic @ Large: Oscars 2001
Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me trashes this years Oscar nominees.
Klein & Clark
Joe Clark offers election tips to Ralph Klein.
Name That Virus
Canada's favourite new game show - Name That Virus.

Best Of Episode #2 - Friday, February 9, 2001

Dinner on Titanic
Dinner on the Titanic leaves everyone with an appetite for disaster.
Ebert & One Fat Lady Click here to hear a sample...
Gourmet cook One Fat Lady pairs with Roger Ebert to look at the movies of 1999.
Seventh Sense
Joe Clark can see things...
Million Dollar Babies
Multiple mother Dionne discovers there's no business like the baby business.
Critic at Large with David Cronenberg
Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me meets special guest David Cronenberg
Quiz Show Excerpt
A quiz show contestant tries to answer a skill testing question.
Deadman Walking Excerpt
You just never know who you're going to see in prison...
The Jeanfather
Godfather Jean Chrétien arranges a loan.
Alfredo Fettuccini Excerpt
A scene from one of Italy's most famous movies.

Episode 8-14 - Friday, February 2, 2001

Chrétien & Clarkson: Throne Speech
The throne speech is true to form, totally incoherent.
Chicken Cannon News Click here to hear a sample...
Reports on new Saskatchewan premier, two thousand dollar Walkerton settlement, George W. Bush's Star Wars plan, Bernard Landry in dictionary, Canadian Mint issues new fifty dollar bill, , Wayne Gretzky turns 40, and the TV show E.R. The Chicken Cannon serves Bernard Landry an authentic Canadian meal...
E. Coli Testimony
An oil spill in the Galapagos Islands leaves Charles Darwin's grandson spouting off about the theory of pollution.
Parliamentary Highlights: Day
Stockwell Day's parliamentary quickie.
Celine and Baby
Celine Dion becomes a mom.
Billy 2 Willies : BC Name Change
Billy Two Willies give British Columbia a native name overhaul.
Parliamentary Highlights: McDonough
Alexa McDonough's parliamentary quickie.
Videopinion: Groundhog Day
An anti-groundhog crusader would like to see Groundhog Day ground to a halt.
Parliamentary Highlights: Clark
Joe Clark's parliamentary seat is in the nosebleed section.
Pringle and Landry
Bernard Landry sees red and throws the bull.
Videopinion: Gasoline Prices
High gasoline prices leave a motorist all pumped up.

Episode 8-13 - Friday, January 26, 2001

Stan's Internet Baby Service
Stan unveils his new web page, www.e-baby.com.
Canadiens Sale
An American takeover leaves Montreal Canadiens fans wondering - to Habs or Hab nots.
Jock McBile
Jock McBile comments on Stockwell Day's costly lawsuit.
E. Coli Testimony
At the Walkerton inquiry, an e-coli is called to the witness stand.
ESL News Click here to hear a sample...
The English As A Second Language News duo report on Bernard Landry, Celine Dion has a baby, oil spill in the Galapagos Islands, Canadian Alliance 12-step program, Canadian immigration, George W. Bush's inauguration, new jobs for Bill Clinton's staff, Super Bowl XXXV, man gives cat marijuana, Jesse Jackson's love child, and Quebec drivers.
Future-Chapters Shop
Future-Chapters Shop - takeover wars.
Mike on a Park Bench
Mike from Canmore's park proposition.
Bush Inauguration
George W. Bush takes the oaf of office.
The Baby Story
A baby story - true stories that make women cry and men cringe.

Episode 8-12 - Friday, January 19, 2001

Chrétien and Martin - Bouchard Resignation
Paul Martin prays Jean Chretien will catch Bouchard fever and resign.
Doctor On Winter Health
A doctor has the cure for exchanging in-flight winter germs.
Abendigo And Atwood
Margaret Atwood demonstrates the pen might be mightier than the sword but her singing is a lethal weapon.
Brenda The Bingo Lady Click here to hear a sample...
Brenda the Bingo Lady dabs and gabs about New Year's resolutions, Temptation Island, same-sex lesbian wedding, gay wedding ceremony, gas prices, Meg Ryan/Russell Crowe break-up, eclipse in Turkey, and Montreal Expos on The Comedy Network.
@discovery.ca - Designer Animals
Jay Ingram is a real curious George when it comes to monkeying around with genetically modified primates.
Anne McLellan Gun Registration
Gun registration for dummies.
Saltspring Animal Haven
Back-to-the-land animal lovers invade Saltspring Island.

Episode 8-11 - Friday, January 12, 2001

Wendy Report Click here to hear a sample...
The Wendy Report targets Jean Chretien's birthday, Air Canada layoffs, Hell Angel's in Ontario, Mario Lemieux, George W. Bush's cabinet picks, New Brunswick doctors strike, Ontario fugitives Ron and Loren Koval, Puff Daddy, seven escaped prisoners from a Texas prison, Time Magazine's man of the year, and the value of the Canadian dollar in 2030.
Bouchard & Duceppe
Lucien Bouchard and Gilles Duceppe team up to sing, "That's Separation."
BBC News: Breast Enlargement
BBC News reports - breast implants are for everyone.
George W. Bush's NY Address
George W. Bush lays out the groundwork for his Presidency.
Worker on a Girder
A girder worker talks about Ally McBeal, Canadian Federal party leaders, new Microsoft/Lazy-boy chair, Donovan Bailey, Vancouver drug addict sues dealer, Toronto's 2008 Olympic bid, and Hamilton's environmental record.
Ebert & Roeper @ The Movies
Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper put their best thumb forward reviewing the blockbuster of 2000. Their hit list includes Castaway, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Charlie's Angels, Shaft, Gladiator, What Men Want, 102 Dalmatians, Finding Forrester, Inherit the Wind, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Episode 8-NYE - Friday, December 31, 2000

News From Away: New Year's Eve 2000
Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole look back at the news from 2000: the federal election, Stockwell Day, Toronto's garbage problem, and Anne Heche. Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole also sweep through 52 Weeks In 52 Seconds.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Special guest Pamela Wallin goes from the host's seat to the hot seat on Who Wants To Be A Canadian millionaire.
I Am Canadian.
Mike from Canmore's version of "I am Canadian."
Man to Mansbridge
Special guest Stockwell Day speaks "Man to Mansbridge" at Stornoway and leaves no agenda unturned.
Tim Hortons Coffee Romance
Single White Female seeks long-term relationship with Double Mocha Coffee.
New Year's Eve Beer Story
Kenny and Bruce have a suds-tastic New Beer's Eve.
Paul Martin
Paul Martin learns that waiting for Jean Chretien to retire is even worse than waiting for the cable guy to show up.
Blind Date
CBC Jonovision host Jonathan Torrens goes on a blind date with Sue the sex therapist.
Critic and Mike Bullard
Special guest Mike Bullard and critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me battle and belittle their way through the entertainment highlights from 2000.
Da Vinci's Inquest
Da Vinci's Inquest star Nicholas Campbell performs an autopsy on Joe Clark's Conservatives.
Dave Broadfoot
Dave Broadfoot's 2000 Comedy Calendar, looking at the year as only Dave can.
Man's World with Simon Whitfield
Olympic Triathlon gold medallist Simon Whitfield survives the ultimate test – an interview with Buck McSweeney.
Chicken Cannon Targets of 2000
Chicken Cannon takes aim at the viewer voted targets of 2000.

Episode 8-10 - Friday, December 8, 2000

Bush & Gore's Courtroom Battle Click here to hear a sample...
Bush and Gore go to court and face Judge Judy.
Canadian Moment
The donut shop gang discuss Christmas gift ideas, Jean Chrétien's homeless handout, Walkerton water, Virgin airlines, Lucien Bouchard, men who listen with half their brain, and winter driving in Toronto.
Peter Mansbridge's Bovine Banter
Peter Mansbridge goes one on one with a mad cow.
New Digital TV Channels
Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me disses the new digital tv channels.
Man At Bar
Our man at the bar has some sobering thoughts on Mel Lastman's alleged infidelity, boxers with tatoos, wild animal shows on TV, American high school kids who can't read, the ban on outdoor smoking and Jean Chrétiens visit with Bill Clinton.
Mel Speaks Out
Mel Lastman proves he is the David Crosby of politics.
Mike's 12 Days of Christmas
Mike from Canmore sings "The 12 Canmore Days of Christmas".

Episode 8-09 - Friday, December 1, 2000

Cab Driver Click here to hear a sample...
Dave the cabbie comments on the movie Titanic, Mel Lastman's infidelity, CBC Chair's resignation, Robert Downey Jr., George Bush, food safety in Ontario, Cirque de Soleil and Eric Lindros
Prophet on the Mount
An all knowing prophet gives a sermon on the federal election.
Charles & Camilla
A Montréal fling leaves Prince Charles in the doghouse with Camilla!
Jean Chrétien's Wheel of Patronage
Jean Chrétien celebrates his majority victory by spinning the wheel of patronage.
Stockwell & Deborah
Stockwell Day trades in his wet suit for his birthday suit.
Medical Alert
A doctor prescribes the necessary remedy for cold and flu season.
Ralph Klein's Hot Tub
Ralph Klein makes bubbles in his hot tub as he describes how he will spend Alberta's surplus.
Mountain Climber
A couple of rock climbers make a mountain out of a Sasquatch hill.

Episode 8-08 - Friday, November 24, 2000

Smokers' Commentray Click here to hear a sample...
Phil and Jerry's nicotine moment looks at racist politicians, Jean Chrétien on criminals, Alexa McDonough's student free loans, Stockwell's name referendum, the Grey Cup, the Guess Who, the Buffalo blizzard, and Mike Harris' pay raise.
God Bless America: Clinton Style
A U.S. Presidential stalemate: Bush and Gore are stale and Clinton wants to mate.
Environmentally Friendly Alexa
Alexa McDonough pleads for a clean environment for when she's out on the street.
The Jeanfather
Godfather Jean Chrétien arranges a loan for one of his constituents..
Joe Presses The Flesh
Not even the faint hope clause can help Joe Clark.
Jock McBile
Jock rants about election coverage overload, U.S. election counting woes, George Bush, the Florida lawyer influx, a new reality tv show, Toronto Police and the mentally ill, unwanted Christmas gifts and voting advice.
Beware The Ides Of Mike
While in a bar, Mike from Canmore learns a pick-up isn't a truck.
B.S. 2000
B.S. 2000 takes one last look at the candidates on the election trail: Jean Chrétien plays pool, Stockwell Day and dinosaurs, Joe Clark's visit with Santa, an Alexa McDonough highlight, and the latest vox pop prediction.
Bush vs. Gore
The ultimate solution to the U.S. controversy.

Episode 8-07 - Friday, November 17, 2000

All Aboard The Martin Express
Paul Martin's feet show their leadership qualities.
Larry King Live - George Bush
Larry King gives George W. Bush the "dimwit" test.
B.S. 2000
B.S. 2000 uncovers all the latest election news. Paul Martin leadership hopes, Jean Chretien's one-tier healthcare system, Stockwell Day's family picnic, Alexa McDonough in Regina, Gilles Duceppe's connection to Lucien Bouchard, vox pox predicts liberal majority with Joe Clark as leader.
The Ghost and M. Chrétien Click here to hear a sample...
Jean Chrétien is visited by the ghost of elections past - Pierre Trudeau.
Videopinion: Some Like It Hot
Global warming leaves Taffi hot under the accordion.
Park n' Joke
Nick the parking lot attendant sounds off about, Alexa McDonough's wardrobe, Stockwell Day as a used car salesman, Stockwell turns to Judaism, negative campaign ads, Florida election shootout, new Blue Jay manager, charity hockey games ends in brawl.
Stockwell's Sour Note
Stockwell Day sings in sign language.
Chicken Cannon News
Chicken Cannon News targets the Canadian election debates, CBC reporter Jason Moscovitz - George Carlin look-alike, Tin Tin - Stockwell Days look-alike, political analyst Zam reports on the Florida election climate, American and Quebec referendum similarities, dead Missouri senator elected, Ralph Klein's income tax elimination plan, new McDonald's in India, and Bush and Gore get served an inaugural surprise.

Best Of # 1 - Friday, November 10, 2000

B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 1
Don Newman serves as you federal election guide as he looks back at a time when Canadian politics was exciting.
Chrétien's Hospital Visit
Jean Chretien's hands-on approach to healthcare.
Preston Manning: Risky Business
Preston Manning gets jiggy in Stornoway.
The Wendy Report
Wendy Mesley and her panel of experts discuss the federal election.
B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 2
Don Newman takes us to the next section of the program.
Joe Clark Refused Entry
Joe Clark gets all dressed up for a visit to the House of Commons.
Jane Stewart's Boondoggle
Human Resources Minister Jane Stewart, has some explaining to do.
Stockwell Day Commercial
Stockwell Day TV ad - nothing but child's play.
B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 3
Don Newman returns to take us to the end of the look back.
Paul Martin & Rita McNeil Click here to hear a sample...
To help explain his fiscal plans, finance Minster Paul Martin recruits the singing talents of Rita McNeil.
Ottawa Survivor
Who will get voted off the island when Canada votes on November 27th?

Show 8-06 - Friday, November 3, 2000

News From Away Click here to hear a sample...
Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole report on the battle over MP Elsie Wayne's seat, Sault Ste. Marie robbery, Playstation 2, Ralph Klein's cuts, NDP campaign song, Paula Jones in Penthouse, election point - counterpoint, and seasonal pregnancies.
The Cursing Nun
Sister Bonaventure has a few choice words about rapper Eminen's Toronto performance.
Chrétien's Campaign Commercial
Jean Chretien shoots a new TV commercial.
Nortel Stock Shock
Nortel stocks send investors off the deep end.
Election Update - B.S. 2000
B.S. 2000 features up to the moment election analysis. Smoke In Chretien's Plane, Brian Tobin As Oil Slick, Red Book 3, Rollerblading Stockwell, Clark Losing In Own Riding, Phone Poll, McDonough Speech Highlights, Vox Pop Predicts NDP Majority.
Member for Kicking Horse Pass
The member of Parliament for Kicking Horse Pass, the Honourable David J. Broadfoot addresses his constituents concerns.
Stockwell in Church
Stockwell Day sings and dances to his new campaign song: "Never On Sunday."
Beavertone News - Queen Mom
The Queen mom finds the perfect place to put her Order of Canada.
Campaign Bus Designs
A graphic artist reviews the candidates campaign bus designs.
Canada - A People's History
The condensed version for people with short attention spans.

Show 8-05 - Friday, October 27, 2000

The Wendy Report Click here to hear a sample...
Wendy Mesley takes aim at the G-20 Summit, economist reacts to the Nortel plunge, Carlos Delgado re-signs, J.K. Rowling Book Reading, Roger Clemens' bat incident, Arson in Winnipeg, Beethoven vs. Keith Richards, Angela Lansbury, Wal-Mart Wine, and three political natural disasters.
Bill Clinton Dials 976-Yassar
Yassar Arafat and Bill Clinton trade war stories about life in the Middle East and life with Hillary.
Vote Clark
Joe Clark does a campaign ad from the woods but unlike Stockwell Day, he doesn't cut it.
Election Update - B.S. 2000
Sandi Rinaldo from the Air Farce election center, B.S. 2000.
Off The Record
TSN's Michael Landsberg talks sports and looks pretty.
Girder Worker
A girder worker talks about Stockwell Day, Joe Clark, Brian Mulroney, Glen Clark, a Jean Chretien election issue, and a topless logging protester.
Time Change
A couch potato discovers the toughest adjustment about Standard Time is resetting the clock on his VCR.
Wendy's Panel of Experts
Wendy Mesley along with her regular panel of experts, David Halton, Jeffery Simpson, and Mike from Canmore discuss Glen Clark, Stockwell Day, and the timing of the election.
Tony Blair Witch Project
Politics so scary, you'll wet yourself.

Show 8-04 - Friday, October 20, 2000

Chrétien Plans Election
Jean Chrétien sizes up his election competition with Sheila Copps.
Stockwell Day Commercial 1
Stockwell Day uses his granddaughter to explain our national debt.
Air Canada
Air Canada president Robert Milton outlines his airlines motto - the customer always comes last.
Walkerton Inquiry Highlights
The Walkerton inquiry is like a trip to Mexico - don't drink the water.
Stockwell Day Commercial 2
Stockwell Day's tax plans are definitely squirrelly.
ESL News Click here to hear a sample...
The English as a Second Language news team report on Brian Tobin, Alexa McDonough, the Auditor General Report, and Harry Potter.
Confused Philosopher
The Confused Philosopher provides plenty of observation conversation
Billy Two Willies: Election Preview
Billy Two Willies' election preview - party policy books are great for sending smoke signals.
Bush & Gore on CNN
During a Presidential debate, Bush and Gore encounter tongue lash.
Stockwell Day Commercial 3
Stockwell Day provides a running commentary on our country's healthcare.
Videopinion: Dominatrix
A Supreme Court ruling is the ultimate slap on the wrist for a dominatrix.

Show 8-03 - Friday, October 13, 2000

Wazzup, Chrétien?
Paul Martin calls Jean Chretien to see … wazzup!!?
Jock McBile
Jock McBile rants about the renaming of Mt. Logan, drunk driving, Quebec language terrorists, Mike Harris' $200 tax rebate cheques, Air Canada profits, and the world's largest pumpkin.
Sports Fans
Sports fans ponder the true meaning of life.
CTV Newsnet: Milosevic's New Career Click here to hear a sample...
Slobodan Milosevic's new career includes the phrase - Do you want fries with that?
Firearms License Registration
Gun owners discuss the government's new mandatory firearm licensing registration.
Chicken Cannon News
Chicken Cannon News looks at Walkerton water, a Liberal web site linked to porn sites, Boris Yeltsin's memoirs, Stockwell Day, Harrison McCain, George W. Bush, and fires a shot at Slobodan Milosevic.
Undercurrents: Mel Lastman
Wendy Mesley talks trash with Toronto mayor Mel Lastman.
Ottawa Private Eye
An Ottawa Private Eye tries to decipher clues about the upcoming election.

Season Premiere (Shows 8-01/02) - Friday, October 6, 2000

News From Away Click here to hear a sample...
Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole's summer 2000 news round up includes, Who Wants to Be A Canadian Millionaire, British truckers, George W. Bush, Jean Chretien gets pied, Eric Lemaze, Bulgarian weightlifters, Olympic medal count, athletic funding.
Marty McSorley
Marty McSorley's court case swings into action.
Ottawa Survivor
Ottawa political Survivor shows that not all rats live on islands.
Critic - Media Convergence
Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me gets lost in a land of media takeover giants.
Drug Test Explosion
Olympic drug testing becomes and exploding issue.
Stockwell Day - Press Conference
Stockwell Day - Wet behind the ears and under his wetsuit.
Olympic Moment - Volleyball
An agitated Volleyball player prepares for a match.
Pamela Wallin - Millionaire
Pamela Wallin Wants To Be A Canadian Millionaire.
Prophet On The Mount
An all knowing prophet speaks to the masses about Joe Clark, Stockwell Day, Jean Chretien, Paul Martin, Brian Mulroney's daughters wedding, drugs at the Olympics, Eric Lemaze, and Juan Samarranch.
Speed Vision
A fast review of the Olympics.
Tribute To Trudeau
The donut shop regulars look back at Pierre Trudeau's career.
News From Away # 2
Jimmy and Shamus continue their look back at the summer of 2000. Their list of topics include, O'Canada sung in schools, outlawing gangs in Montreal, rumoured merger between NDP and PC's, the start of the NHL season, and the re-release of the Exorcist.
Olympic Moment - 100M Run
A couple of Canadians anxiously await the start of the 100 M finals.
Clark's Return
Joe Clark returns to the House of Commons, a leader without a party. Synchronized Weightlifting
Synchronized weightlifters perform for the judges.
PM's New Security Detail
Jean Chretien's new security team - the pie police.
Brian Williams "Time"
Brian Williams is left clockless in Sydney.
Lobster Tales
More trouble in the New Brunswick lobster fishery - the lobsters get a lawyer.
Gas Price
While filling up his car a customers temper rises faster than gas prices.
Canadian Beer Commercial
Mike from Canmore makes a beer commercial.
Valerie Pringle - Water
Ontario's water quality controllers blow their own horns.
Brian Williams "Locked"
Live from Sydney, the real Brian Williams discovers he's locked in the studio.